Top Ten Anime Grudges part 1

If I say that I like One Piece I should make it clear that I am a fan of the Manga and not much else with that name.  Specifically I enjoy the work of its creator Eichiro Oda, whether it’s canon story like the actual comic and the cover storys, or non-canon stuff like the Omake comics, color spreads and Romance Dawn comics.  What I don’t like is what others do when given control over the One Piece world which is exactly what happens in the anime (cartoon) and video games.  I especially hate when filler (non canon story) ruins my ability to fully appreciate Oda’s true work. Here are ten moments I regret seeing and why.

1. Enies Lobby:When Robin is apprehended by CP9 she is taken to the world governments justice centre called Enies Lobby.  There are a number of remarkable aspects to this place including super gigantic gates that lead to Marine Headquarters and Impel Down, as well as the fact that it’s always day time there.  Enies Lobby is also an island that hangs over the edge of a 360 degree waterfall, an unexplained hole in the middle of the ocean.  After being introduced to this fact, all I could think is “Oh, here’s another one of these”.
   

   The oceans belly button, Heso.

   Since I watched all of the anime first before reading the manga I had seen this before somewhere.  In fact according to the first anime special Adventure in the Oceans Navel, there is one in the East Blue before they even get to the Grand Line.  Thanks to this one of Enies Lobbys most amazing aspects had become ho-hum and simply confirmed that throughout the ocean there seem to be holes in it for some reason.  Of course by the time I realised the difference between canon and non canon story I had already watched almost all of it and fully regretted having done so.

2. Baron Umotsori:  and the Secret Island is the sixth One Piece movie and by the time it came out I had already learned to beware non-canon storys, and it is only because of my new found skepticism that I didn’t place him as number one on this list of disappointments.
   

   Umotsori and his evil magical daisy

   If I had watched this and actually believed that this sack of crap had met Gold Roger the Pirate King and (as Muchi said) could have beaten him as well, I think my head would have blown up after seeing Whitebeard and Shiki who truly were Roger’s equals.  When watching the movie I was interested in just what kind of epicness someone as powerful as Gold Roger might be able to pull off.  Unfortunately the entire movie is ridiculously stupid and after giving it a chance to interest me I eventually had to fast forward through it just to get it over with.

   

   Muchi the ugly slug face tells us what he thinks

   Umotsori’s design is stupid but then again so is the Golden Leo Shiki, so really it depends on what the guy can do to prove his coolness.  However all that Umotsori can do is shoot a bow and arrow and take orders from the retarded Lily Carnation. With a giant flower as the sinister origins for this guys powers, along with a stupid crew like DJ “Pu”, Muchi the gold fish tamer and the rocket boat frog people all done in a new art style that drastically departs from Oda’s, this entire movie is an insulting parody of the real One Piece.

3. Warship destruction:  In the anime the last thing Luffy and crew do before leaving the East Blue and heading for the Grand Line is something called the Warship Island arc.  They visit an island that is shaped like a warship and eventually find the nesting grounds of  a bunch of dragons.  In the fan subbed episode that I watched they were stopped by a Marine called “Admiral” Nelson who is an ugly and obese pile of crap with a huge ornate battle ship.  Apparently the fansub was incorrect for calling him an admiral when he was actually a Commodore (which is a relief to me seeing as how there are only supposed to be three Admirals and they are all way cooler than this guy.
   

   Luffy splits an “admirals” warship before leaving the East Blue

   As the events unfold Luffy eventually decides to end the fight by cutting the Marine ship in half with his Gomu Gomu no Axe.  This was rather epic back when I first saw it and the memory stuck with me, since I now knew that Luffy could at anytime simply cut entire ships in half, if push came to shove.  This eventually lead to one of the greatest disappointments I had in reading One Piece, when during Luffy’s fight with Luchi, he uses the Gear 3 version of his Gomu Gomu no Axe and merely dents the battle ship he attacked.  I didn’t understand how in his giant form he was only able to dent something that he had previously, sliced right in half (before even going to the Grand Line mind you).  Although analyzing it eventually lead me to understand what was going on it certainly ruined a moment that should have stood out as epic.  Just like my next complaint.

4. Zoro’s strength:  In the same arc as I mentioned above, the Strawhats need to get away from the Marines who have blockaded them with several ships and a ring of heavy chains.  Zoro, Luffy and Sanji decide to attack the ships and create and opening for their ship.  As Luffy and Sanji decide to take out the Marines Zoro will cut the thick steel chains that hang between the ships.  He proceeds to do just that after confidently proclaiming that he can cut ANYTHING!
   

   Zoro simply states a matter of fact

   Keeping in mind that they haven’t even reached the Grand Line yet and shortly after Zoro will have to face off against Das Bones aka Mr. 1 who can turn his limbs into blades as strong as steel.  It seems strange then that Zoro has to focus his energy and think back to the wise words of his sensei in order to learn how to cut through steel and defeat Mr. 1.  This entire scene becomes stupid instead of epic all thanks to the anime filler writers who were too anxious to make their own storys seem cool.

5. The Great Gold Pirate:  All though the story of the legendary pirate Woonan never actually ruined my reading experience it was probably one the first things that made me skeptical of just what lengths the writers of this show would go to in order to try to make their own crap seem cool.  In One Piece: The Movie which takes place before the Strawhats have even met Sanji their fifth member, we find out about the Great Gold Pirate Woonan who apparently stole up to 1/3 of the worlds gold and hid it somewhere that noone could find.  Even during my first viewing of this it seemed to fantastic to be true and made me suspicious.
   

   Zoro and Luffy fighting aboard the floating “Oden” boat

   They claimed that the gold piled up like a mountain and would light the night sky but even the picture they showed to illustrate this didn’t really show anything of the sort.  His treasure was ultimately hid in a small room under an old hut, which couldn’t possibly have held much of anything, nevermind a third of all the worlds gold.  After seeing the city of gold Shandora this was confirmed perfectly, since this one location already had much more gold than he did, nevermind the whole world.

6. The Floating Restaurant:  The same movie that supposedly had 1/3 of the worlds gold also made the first ever appearance of a certain floating restaurant.  No not the Baratie, but rather a small unnamed “Oden” boat manned by Ganzo the old friend and secret treasure of the so called Great Gold Pirate.  This movie takes place right before they travel to the actual Baratie and meet their new crew mate Sanji.  What a subtle way to ruin the surprise and make the upcoming events feel less significant.
7. Worlds Best Swordsman:  While we are speaking of stealing wind from the sails of the Baratie Arc, in the same movie as the previous two grudges we meet “the worlds best swordsman” Gorass.  He is called that by El Drago who always pays him to do anything, like the landscaping pictured below.
   

   There was a small mountain before Gorass turned it into a valley

   This one didn’t bother me since the first episode I ever saw of One Piece featured Mihawk, who didn’t even get up from his seat while casually defending himself from gunfire, and went on to defeat Zoro with a key chain knife.  Gorass on the other hand got his (gor)ass handed to him by Zoro after being put to shame for being a mercenary.

8. Usopp’s grapple hook:  This wasn’t a huge disapointment to me except that it seemed like Oda had been saving this particular invention for the proper time to use it and the anime shows him using something basically just like it the first time we meet Usopp (episode 10).
   

   aahaahaahahhaaa!

   If it were true that Usopp had a grapple hook in his bag the whole time, I would think he’d  use it more often.  As it stands the scenes in which he uses it are hilarious and makes me glad that Oda has such a great sense of humor and good sense of timing.

9. Worlds Strongest Man:  I realize that General Hotdog “prides himself” as the worlds strongest man and isn’t necessarily recognized as such by anyone else, but after seeing Whitebeard the actual Strongest Man in the World this guy just makes me sick to think about.
   

   General Hotdog looks like a Bull Dog and is full of Bull Sh!t

   Zoro comments that he isn’t even as strong as Sanji after defeating Hotdog, but having seen Whitebeard in action this guy needs to be retroactively hunted down and killed, just to set an example to any other pretenders to the title.

10. Mini Merry 2:  Introduced at Thriller Bark as a secret bonus in the Thousand Sunny, the Strawhats old ship the Going Merry was remade as a small steam paddle passenger boat.  Although it obviously resembled their former ship it seemed familiar in some other way as well.
    

    The Mini Merry 2, familiar in more than one way

    I couldn’t remember until seeing it again, but in the second One Piece movie “Clock Work Island”,  after their own ship is stolen they rent a similar swan shaped paddle boat that is apparently, readily available in the East Blue.

11. Crappy Dragons (special mention):   All though Oda has drawn a number of dragons in various colour spreads and artwork, he has yet to ever introduce one in the actual comic.  It is mentioned for example, that Ryuuma killed one when he was still alive, but if it looked or acted like the ones shown in the anime, that really wouldn’t be anything to be proud of.  Luffy’s father the notorious Monkey D. Dragon was obviously named after dragons and has become one of the most dangerous men in the world, which again I can’t imagine that this thing would be his namesake.
    

    Fat and furry with a bald spot and creepy eyes, Oda I know you can do better

    

    This is a dragon done right!

    So I’m guessing that at some point Oda will actually introduce real dragons which will cause anyone who has seen these pieces of crap to wish that they had Zoro’s ability to simply blank out of his memory and never mention these again.     UPDATE:  I feel justified in my prediction post about these crappy dragons, because one of the first things the Strawhats come across when entering the New World is an awesome Dragon that just puts this anime one to shame.  Check it out for yourself!